Seriously, why do I even have a blog?

If I recall, there is a post from about this time last year apologizing for being such a shitty blogger. And now, a year later, and nine months since my last post, here's another apology. Seriously, I suck at keeping blogs! Just like the post from a year ago, I'll simply start with some updates.

1. I survived the school year. Just being able to say that feels like an accomplishment. Honestly, I quit posting because I sank into such deep depression, anxiety and anger and I was embarrassed by it. I couldn't possibly post anything upbeat or even worth reading, so I just didn't. But, May did come, even though I never thought it would, my students did learn, and I did survive. It wouldn't have been possible without my amazing colleagues, my wonderful, hilarious roommate, my incredibly supportive family and my patient and unconditionally-loving boyfriend. Man, I am so blessed.

 

This is a picture of my kiddos at the pond by our school on the last day.

2. I went to Europe! I met my boyfriend in Frankfurt, Germany three days after school got out. We stayed in Frankfurt for a week and ate too much, drank a lot of beer, went to music festivals, the zoo, beautiful parks. It was so wonderful to be on vacation with him. We were so in love. He returned to Dallas, but I stayed and backpacked through Czech Republic, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary and Poland. (In that order.) I stayed with Couch Surfing hosts in every city but one and all of them were amazing. I ate the most delicious food, drank the most delicious beer, saw the most beautiful sights. It was highly introspective, occasionally really, really challenging and absolutely incredible. I loved every second of it and would recommend a solo travel trip to anyone.

 Me in a lovely garden in Warsaw, Poland. This park is also home to the Frederic Chopin monument, my favorite composer. :)

 The Von Trapp mansion from the Sound of Music. That tour was definitely a highlight of the trip!

 The view from a 1000 year old fortress in Salzburg, Austria. A beautiful city. Please go there.

 My adorable boyfriend and I at a German barbecue with our new German friends!

 What strange statues in Prague?!?!

View from the Citadella in Budapest, Hungary.

3. My man leaves for Egypt again in about two weeks. So friends, brace yourself for lots of whining. Long distance relationships are so hard, but I feel so lucky to have a partner who adores me, supports me in everything I do, challenges me when I need a reality check and always cheers me up when I'm feeling down. Luckily, he returns to the good ol' US of A in December. For good! Then we can begin to embark on what I know will be an amazing, adventure filled future together.

4. School starts again in less than a week. That's less than 7 days. Holy smokes, where did the summer go!!?!?! (Well, when you spend half of it in Europe living like a freaking queen, I guess it just flies by) This summer has offered me so much time to reflect and surprisingly, I feel super ready. I have completely forgiven myself for the things that failed last year. I have forgiven some colleagues and old friends for anything they did to hurt me. I have forgiven myself for hurting myself with my terribly negative attitude and lack of self-love. I have forgiven, but not forgotten. Last school year was debilitatingly depressing. It was exhausting. It was anxiety ridden. And I refuse to do that to myself and my students again. I am using last year's mishaps as fuel for this year's success. I don't want to just survive this school year, I want to thrive.

Now, I'd like to share some goals for the year.

1. Quit hatin'. No more hating on myself or other women. I will love myself and talk nicely to myself. I will love others and talk nicely to them too. Everyday, we are all learning. Everyday, we are all struggling. But everyday, we are all worthy of love and belonging. I am committed to lifting myself and others up always. No matter what.

2. Be less "un-pro." This is roommate-speak for unprofessional. ("Oh em gee that is supes un-pro.") I did some unprofessional things last year that I'm not proud of. This year will be different. I am still learning, but I will prioritize professional dress, speech and actions on a daily basis.

3. Self-Respect, yo. Exercise. Eat right. Fuel my body and my mind. Feed my soul. Engage in meaningful spiritual experiences. Take frequent bubble baths. Do yoga. Sing more.

This year will be better. It will be successful. It will be incredible.

So friends, wish me luck as I embark on another crazy year of teaching four year olds, trying to balance work and life, and navigating this weird time period known as your twenties.

Love,

AJ

P.S. This year will also be full of more blog posts....hopefully.